Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Rissa's mother would disagree
Rissa, I would like to be mad at you for placing your support behind such a preposterous argument but when you do it in such a foul mouthed and non-PC manner I can’t stay mad at you. What would freshman year Rissa say if she could see you now. I’m so proud at how far you came down towards our level over those 4 years.
What She Wants
Okay kids, I'm sorry I was away for so long and subsequently have yet to express my opinion on this topic. However, this gives me the opportunity to post a definite ruling on this timeless and eternal question. I feel I am qualified for this assertion based on the fact that I am both the deciding vote (thank you Dan for your completely irrelevant and absurd pistachio argument) and, among this group at least, uniquely female. Therefore, I am obviously much more equipped to understand the inner workings of the female mind than any of you; plus, who else is there to break the tie?
And my ruling is this: She wants a fuckin' baby.
That's right friends.
Baby Time = 3
Party Time = 2
Pistachio Time = 1
I think we have a clear winner. And here are the reasons why:
She leads a lonely life
I agree with the earlier stated sentiments that this woman use to have a baby, but for some reason, the child is no longer with her. The man she previously had in her life is now either dead or a total deadbeat (neither of which is a favorable outcome for her or her child). In fact, as evidenced by her clear dislike the opposite sex and her mistrust of men in general, it's probably the baby daddy's fault that her first child is gone . Maybe he took off with the baby, maybe it was a casualty of his meth lab exploding, I don't know. I'll leave that to you to speculate. Regardless though, she's obviously been burned by a man before, and this has led to the loss of her first child and her subsequent loneliness. The solution to this loneliness, of course, is to have another baby to fill up the hole that is now consuming her life. A baby offers unconditional love and companionship, something she has learned (from experience) that she will never get from a man.
She's going to get you
Yes, she is going to get you. I think this has two meanings.
1) She's going to hunt you down like the cougar she probably is and trip you into bed. She wants you, but only because you have the necessary equipment to impregnate her and end her life of loneliness.
2) She's gonna get you a second time by tricking you into fathering her child. This feeds into the line It's a night for passion/ But the morning means goodbye. You might think a night of passion is all you're giving her, but you would be wrong. This passion is merely a means to an end, a nice by-product to lure you into a night of unprotected sex. You never suspect that anything more will come of your encounter, afterall, she's gone the next morning, but she knows different. This is the real warning of the song: if you get with her, you're gonna have some kid running around that you don't even know about. And that's just bad news.
She's a hunter you're the fox
I would like to make the argument here that "you" is essentially synonymous with "your sperm." Yes, she wants you, but only because she has to first get you in order to get a hold of the good stuff. In a sort of package deal, by getting you, she gets you're sperm- the ultimate goal of her hunt. This hunter-fox line is also a probable indication of her cougar status. This only further supports the baby theory because that means her biological clock is ticking. She can always get a man later on in life; maybe not a quality one, but she obviously wasn't attracting quality men in the first place. A baby, on the other hand, is possible only within a limited time period. As for the analogy argument that Joe brought up, I'll point to Dan's statement that Ace of Base is Swedish and clearly aren't up on the intricacies of the English language. Expecting them to make appropriate analogies in a foreign language is obviously asking too much.
When she woke up late in the morning...
Contrary to what Joe believes, the purpose of her day is not to be lazy and irresponsible. This is instead her preferred method of catching desirable men. At the beach, she can better judge the attributes of her intended prey and then, once she has selected preferrable and likely candidates, follow up on these choices at a bar before making her final decision. If she repeats the beach scene the next morning, it is simply to celebrate a job well done. She has just convinced some poor fool to get her pregnant and then successfully discarded him. The best part is that he has no idea what has happened. After all her hard work, she deserves a day to bask in the sun and reflect on the improved quality of her life now that she will always have a child to provide her with the love that she so desperately wants.
In conclusion, the first line is really what says it all: She leads a lonely life. If a man was the solution to this problem of hers, then she would be looking for a boyfriend. A one night stand will still leave her lonely and desolate come morning UNLESS she can get a child out of it. Therefore, in order to end her life of solitude, her only option is to have a baby.
And my ruling is this: She wants a fuckin' baby.
That's right friends.
Baby Time = 3
Party Time = 2
Pistachio Time = 1
I think we have a clear winner. And here are the reasons why:
She leads a lonely life
I agree with the earlier stated sentiments that this woman use to have a baby, but for some reason, the child is no longer with her. The man she previously had in her life is now either dead or a total deadbeat (neither of which is a favorable outcome for her or her child). In fact, as evidenced by her clear dislike the opposite sex and her mistrust of men in general, it's probably the baby daddy's fault that her first child is gone . Maybe he took off with the baby, maybe it was a casualty of his meth lab exploding, I don't know. I'll leave that to you to speculate. Regardless though, she's obviously been burned by a man before, and this has led to the loss of her first child and her subsequent loneliness. The solution to this loneliness, of course, is to have another baby to fill up the hole that is now consuming her life. A baby offers unconditional love and companionship, something she has learned (from experience) that she will never get from a man.
She's going to get you
Yes, she is going to get you. I think this has two meanings.
1) She's going to hunt you down like the cougar she probably is and trip you into bed. She wants you, but only because you have the necessary equipment to impregnate her and end her life of loneliness.
2) She's gonna get you a second time by tricking you into fathering her child. This feeds into the line It's a night for passion/ But the morning means goodbye. You might think a night of passion is all you're giving her, but you would be wrong. This passion is merely a means to an end, a nice by-product to lure you into a night of unprotected sex. You never suspect that anything more will come of your encounter, afterall, she's gone the next morning, but she knows different. This is the real warning of the song: if you get with her, you're gonna have some kid running around that you don't even know about. And that's just bad news.
She's a hunter you're the fox
I would like to make the argument here that "you" is essentially synonymous with "your sperm." Yes, she wants you, but only because she has to first get you in order to get a hold of the good stuff. In a sort of package deal, by getting you, she gets you're sperm- the ultimate goal of her hunt. This hunter-fox line is also a probable indication of her cougar status. This only further supports the baby theory because that means her biological clock is ticking. She can always get a man later on in life; maybe not a quality one, but she obviously wasn't attracting quality men in the first place. A baby, on the other hand, is possible only within a limited time period. As for the analogy argument that Joe brought up, I'll point to Dan's statement that Ace of Base is Swedish and clearly aren't up on the intricacies of the English language. Expecting them to make appropriate analogies in a foreign language is obviously asking too much.
When she woke up late in the morning...
Contrary to what Joe believes, the purpose of her day is not to be lazy and irresponsible. This is instead her preferred method of catching desirable men. At the beach, she can better judge the attributes of her intended prey and then, once she has selected preferrable and likely candidates, follow up on these choices at a bar before making her final decision. If she repeats the beach scene the next morning, it is simply to celebrate a job well done. She has just convinced some poor fool to get her pregnant and then successfully discarded him. The best part is that he has no idea what has happened. After all her hard work, she deserves a day to bask in the sun and reflect on the improved quality of her life now that she will always have a child to provide her with the love that she so desperately wants.
In conclusion, the first line is really what says it all: She leads a lonely life. If a man was the solution to this problem of hers, then she would be looking for a boyfriend. A one night stand will still leave her lonely and desolate come morning UNLESS she can get a child out of it. Therefore, in order to end her life of solitude, her only option is to have a baby.
Monday, March 30, 2009
St. Louis
Nick, I will be in town April 24-27. Hope you can steal away from yours books for a little.
Vote or be a Communist
Well all male votes are accounted for and tallied. The score is:
Baby Time = 2
Party Time = 2
Pistachio Time = 1
Here in lies the problem with 3 party systems. The sun will never have to look upon an unending British empire again. Clearly Rissa needs to voice an opinion.
P.S. You still get spring fever when you have a job instead of school ... in case you were curious.
Baby Time = 2
Party Time = 2
Pistachio Time = 1
Here in lies the problem with 3 party systems. The sun will never have to look upon an unending British empire again. Clearly Rissa needs to voice an opinion.
P.S. You still get spring fever when you have a job instead of school ... in case you were curious.
I saw the sign...a reassertion of the 'Baby Daddy Premise'
I must reiterate that she wants another baby.
All that she wants is another baby.
Robin's point is valid: She wants another baby
* She must have had at least one baby before, but judging from her distaste for permanent male companionship I would agree that scenario iii) is likely. Though I can imagine how scenario i) would lead her to be both lonely and unable to form meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.
It opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
This woman is either incredibly shallow, which would make her a sort of Swedish anti-hero, or her's is a story of emotional growth and fulfillment. She lives a lonely life, which is typical and understandable for a young woman who has made a few mistakes (whoops I got knocked up!) and was not mature enough to deal with them (maybe she left the baby in her car in the parking lot...maybe she gave it up for adoption...maybe daddy took it away). She must be in transition now away from her life of laziness and excess on the beach.
Beware of what is flashing in her eye
There is a change in her (sperm) that indicates the use you (man-ho) have just been put to. She drew you into this night of passion for selfish reasons. Why would a night of passion be selfish and strange for a young man? Baby daddy boys, baby daddy.
I saw the sign/and it opened up my mind/and I am happy now living without you/I've left you all alone
Later in our tale we learn that her child has been a true revelation for her, and that she can be happy and not alone without a man by her side. Perhaps she has recovered her original baby from the man who took it from her (it turns out the guy in All That She Wants was shooting blanks…but I digress).
In the end this is an anthem for Swedish female independence an self improvement: note to self…always use protection when taking nordic women to bed…baby daddy, baby daddy
All that she wants is another baby.
Robin's point is valid: She wants another baby
* She must have had at least one baby before, but judging from her distaste for permanent male companionship I would agree that scenario iii) is likely. Though I can imagine how scenario i) would lead her to be both lonely and unable to form meaningful relationships with the opposite sex.
It opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
This woman is either incredibly shallow, which would make her a sort of Swedish anti-hero, or her's is a story of emotional growth and fulfillment. She lives a lonely life, which is typical and understandable for a young woman who has made a few mistakes (whoops I got knocked up!) and was not mature enough to deal with them (maybe she left the baby in her car in the parking lot...maybe she gave it up for adoption...maybe daddy took it away). She must be in transition now away from her life of laziness and excess on the beach.
Beware of what is flashing in her eye
There is a change in her (sperm) that indicates the use you (man-ho) have just been put to. She drew you into this night of passion for selfish reasons. Why would a night of passion be selfish and strange for a young man? Baby daddy boys, baby daddy.
I saw the sign/and it opened up my mind/and I am happy now living without you/I've left you all alone
Later in our tale we learn that her child has been a true revelation for her, and that she can be happy and not alone without a man by her side. Perhaps she has recovered her original baby from the man who took it from her (it turns out the guy in All That She Wants was shooting blanks…but I digress).
In the end this is an anthem for Swedish female independence an self improvement: note to self…always use protection when taking nordic women to bed…baby daddy, baby daddy
A Third Option
First off, yes, I'm still alive and reading the blog daily, cancel the search parties.
More importantly, I think you're both wrong. Clearly what this woman is seeking is another of some unknown item; the baby is obviously just there for emphasis, like "I'm going to the market, baby, do we need pistachios?" The lack of comma between "another baby" is probably because they're Swedish.
So having clearly established that she wants another of something, we need to determine what that is. My guess is the song is about a record deal; perhaps Ace of Base sensed their two-hit wonder status coming, and wrote a song pleading for another record before they're "gone tomorrow".
This is why I'm in med school and not law school.
PS Excellent use of DED Joseph
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A 5 point response to Robin’s counter-argument to Nick’s opening argument
I must disagree, sir. She is looking for a one night lover. Not an 18 year responsibility.
1) The warning in the song states She’s going to get you, All that she wants is another baby.
She is after you, you being the target of her efforts. The baby that is all that she wants is you. If she were after offspring then the warning would state She’s going to get your manseed.
2) It’s a night for passion
If the objective or her pursuit was a child then this line would provide irrelevant information. If what she really wants is a child irrespective of the role of a male counterpart in the raising of said child and if this man was a disposable seed bank then why would the passion or lack-their-of be important to the message? Passion is only relevant if her goal is to have a passionate night with the man.
3) Beware of what is flashing in her eye
If she is after manseed shouldn’t the twinkle be in his eyes?
4) She’s a hunter you’re the fox
A hunter pursues a fox because getting the fox is his/her goal. If she were after the man for what he could do for her then a more appropriate analogy would have been She’s a farmer you’re the guano producing bat or She’s a thief you’re the egg laying chicken. The Fox (i.e. you) are the subject or her desire. She is not more interested in what you can give her that will have greater long term value to her.
5) When she woke up late in the morning
Light and the day had just begun
She opened up her eyes and thought
O what a morning
Its not a day for work
Its a day for catching tan
Just laying on the beach and having fun
We can tell from this description of her thoughts on the day in question that she likes a) sleeping in, b) skipping work/responsibilities c) going to the beach and having fun. If we consider the hypothetical scenario that she has had a baby (offspring) before then clearly she must know that a baby is a large responsibility and that visiting the beach and sleeping in will no longer be options in her life.
1) The warning in the song states She’s going to get you, All that she wants is another baby.
She is after you, you being the target of her efforts. The baby that is all that she wants is you. If she were after offspring then the warning would state She’s going to get your manseed.
2) It’s a night for passion
If the objective or her pursuit was a child then this line would provide irrelevant information. If what she really wants is a child irrespective of the role of a male counterpart in the raising of said child and if this man was a disposable seed bank then why would the passion or lack-their-of be important to the message? Passion is only relevant if her goal is to have a passionate night with the man.
3) Beware of what is flashing in her eye
If she is after manseed shouldn’t the twinkle be in his eyes?
4) She’s a hunter you’re the fox
A hunter pursues a fox because getting the fox is his/her goal. If she were after the man for what he could do for her then a more appropriate analogy would have been She’s a farmer you’re the guano producing bat or She’s a thief you’re the egg laying chicken. The Fox (i.e. you) are the subject or her desire. She is not more interested in what you can give her that will have greater long term value to her.
5) When she woke up late in the morning
Light and the day had just begun
She opened up her eyes and thought
O what a morning
Its not a day for work
Its a day for catching tan
Just laying on the beach and having fun
We can tell from this description of her thoughts on the day in question that she likes a) sleeping in, b) skipping work/responsibilities c) going to the beach and having fun. If we consider the hypothetical scenario that she has had a baby (offspring) before then clearly she must know that a baby is a large responsibility and that visiting the beach and sleeping in will no longer be options in her life.
I Disagree
SHE DOES WANT TO GET PREGNANT
Sir Nicholas, your argument appears at first glance to be valid, but I believe you have misinterpreted. I shall address each of your points in turn.
1) She leads a lonely life
She lives all by herself and wants some companionship. Clearly she doesn't want the company of men, except for the bare minimum of what is necessary to produce said child. A child would be her constant companion, thus making her life less lonely.
2) All that she wants is another baby
I think clearly she had a baby at some point, but no longer. There are three possibilities:
i) There was some sort of accident/sickness and her baby died.
ii) Her baby has grown up and left home and now she longs for another one.
iii) Her ex took off with their baby.
I think iii) is the most likely since it also explains why she doesn't want to be involved with men again. (She's gone tomorrow)
Baby time fellas.
Baby time.
Sir Nicholas, your argument appears at first glance to be valid, but I believe you have misinterpreted. I shall address each of your points in turn.
1) She leads a lonely life
She lives all by herself and wants some companionship. Clearly she doesn't want the company of men, except for the bare minimum of what is necessary to produce said child. A child would be her constant companion, thus making her life less lonely.
2) All that she wants is another baby
I think clearly she had a baby at some point, but no longer. There are three possibilities:
i) There was some sort of accident/sickness and her baby died.
ii) Her baby has grown up and left home and now she longs for another one.
iii) Her ex took off with their baby.
I think iii) is the most likely since it also explains why she doesn't want to be involved with men again. (She's gone tomorrow)
Baby time fellas.
Baby time.
She Doesn't Want to Get Pregnant: A Lyrical Analysis of Ace of Base
I Understand that there is some controversy here. So as I sip my coffee and prepare to go for a soft j-jog, allow me to explain my point in the eloquent detail that my legal education has elucidated for me.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET PREGNANT
First line, says it all:
She leads a lonely life.
It's not "She leads a lonely life, except for the rugrat that she leaves at home while she goes out to chase man-tail" she lives alone, in a one-bedroom apartment in the kinda-nice part of Jacksonville, and she has obviously gone out to a club that is a) Far too young for her or b) far too expensive for her to try and find a random fuck.
All that she wants, is another baby...
She wants ANOTHER baby...as in an additional one to the several she has already had. So I ask you, if she wants to get pregnant AGAIN, why does she lead a lonely life? Answer--because the EPT came up negative last month and she just popped on the patch. Party time fellas.
Party time.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GET PREGNANT
First line, says it all:
She leads a lonely life.
It's not "She leads a lonely life, except for the rugrat that she leaves at home while she goes out to chase man-tail" she lives alone, in a one-bedroom apartment in the kinda-nice part of Jacksonville, and she has obviously gone out to a club that is a) Far too young for her or b) far too expensive for her to try and find a random fuck.
All that she wants, is another baby...
She wants ANOTHER baby...as in an additional one to the several she has already had. So I ask you, if she wants to get pregnant AGAIN, why does she lead a lonely life? Answer--because the EPT came up negative last month and she just popped on the patch. Party time fellas.
Party time.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Kings
So I just watched the first two episodes, and my first thought is wow. I got a lot more than I expected and was really impressed. I will admit that I found it a little predictable, but I can get over that. I feel like shows like this are usually restricted to Showtime and HBO, and I'm glad to see something new and different on network television. I think the idea of a modern, corporate-backed kingdom makes for a really interesting premise. Also I love Silas and his being grumpy and creepy all the time. Anyway, I enjoyed these first two episodes more than a lot of stuff I've been watching lately (not more than Lost, of course, especially not after that last episode: Sayid flashback==awesomeness), and I'm really excited to see where they go with it.
P.S. Joseph is right about our blog being D-E-D dead so I'm doing my best to revive it, even if that means it turns into a brain eating zombie and I have to trip one of you to get away from it.
P.S. Joseph is right about our blog being D-E-D dead so I'm doing my best to revive it, even if that means it turns into a brain eating zombie and I have to trip one of you to get away from it.
Friday, March 27, 2009
More on South Park
Also, did anyone understand the reference they were making at the end with the headless chicken running around the board? I feel like it must be from something, maybe a 1984esque distopian future story.
Best episode I've seen in a while. I laughed out loud when the preacher said they were all morons for thinking the economy would be limited to one son, because it is omnipotent.
Best episode I've seen in a while. I laughed out loud when the preacher said they were all morons for thinking the economy would be limited to one son, because it is omnipotent.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Yes!!!
Castle!!! Awesome. First episode was like Firefly + Dexter + Californication.
By the way, my safe word is apples
P.S. This blog is D-E-D, dead.
By the way, my safe word is apples
P.S. This blog is D-E-D, dead.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Rex-Goliath
Rissa: I don't believe a 47 pound rooster existed.
Robin: Your mom isn't a 47 pound rooster.
Rissa: That's right, Robin.
Nick: I appreciate your powers of observation, sir. . . But she does love a big cock.
Robin: Your mom isn't a 47 pound rooster.
Rissa: That's right, Robin.
Nick: I appreciate your powers of observation, sir. . . But she does love a big cock.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Hostile Witness
Law people: I finally got around to looking into what it means when the judge gives you permission to treat your witness as hostile and I am underwhelmed. There has got to be something more than being able to ask leading questions. Maybe in the old law books there's a clause that says that you can strike a hostile witness across the face with your glove or have the bailiff remove his/her wig. Please look into this matter. That is all.
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